Chapter 35

I told Gilbert not to report the poisoning to anyone above.

There was a high chance people would misunderstand and think I staged the whole thing just to get the Duke’s attention.

But once Lady Olden’s betrayal was revealed and the matter was settled, Gilbert must’ve run straight to the Duke and spilled everything without even asking my permission first.

‘I guess the timing isn’t bad, but he could’ve told me first.’

…While mumbling that to myself, I realized I hadn’t had time to meet Gilbert at all lately because of endless work.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want my personal issues to trouble you.”

“It isn’t trouble.”

The Duke’s gaze held an unusual firmness.

“You were poisoned and yet I had no idea. That is the real issue. Even if our marriage began for political reasons, we’re still husband and wife.”

“Your Grace…”

“From now on, please tell me everything without hiding anything. I’m asking you.”

If the poison I drank hadn’t been something trivial like infertility but something that threatened my life, then once I collapsed every political attack would’ve been aimed at the Duke.

His concern was reasonable.

I nodded silently before the stiffness finally left his expression.

“I investigated a bit, and it seems the only reason you weren’t affected by hemocaran was a small mistake made by the herbalist.”

“A mistake?”

“Lady Olden mixed several poisonous herbs with hemocaran. One of them, however, acted as an antidote. It’s an herb called Silca. You were lucky.”

The full story he told me went like this:

The poison Nuba, which Lady Olden intended to feed me, has an antidote herb called Silca that looks very similar. Even experienced herbalists often struggle to tell them apart.

The herbalist accidentally delivered Silca instead. Lady Olden unknowingly had me consume the antidote along with the poison.

The Duke’s explanation was very detailed, but something still felt off.

“A herbalist handles herbs every day. Even if they look similar, could they really mistake them?”

“That’s why you were lucky.”

He looked away from me and spoke with quiet meaning.

Chasing the investigation back to the herbalist must’ve taken a great deal of effort, yet he showed no sign of it and continued calmly.

“We’re still tracking Lady Olden. She left no trace behind, so it hasn’t been easy.”

“If she can avoid your chase, then her accomplice is far more competent than expected.”

“That’s why I’m asking. If we find Lady Olden, would you leave her punishment to me? Though if you want to judge the criminal yourself…”

Suddenly the past surged into my mind.

Right after I woke up in Elicia’s body, everything around me had been unfamiliar and strange. Yet there was one person I recognized instantly.

Lady Olden.

‘Madam, why not rip that woman’s nails out?’

‘Fire won’t make her talk. Twisting joints won’t make her talk. Killing her won’t even make her talk. Do you think losing nails will change anything?’

‘Once you do it yourself, you’ll change your mind.’

As she promised, her method was extremely effective.

How much truth did I know? Who else participated in the investigation besides me? I struggled like a dragonfly with its wings torn off and confessed everything helplessly.

Most of the grotesque tortures done to me had come from Lady Olden’s mind.

Suddenly my breath caught.

“Milady?!”

“…Ah.”

I blinked blankly.

No more thin bloody fingers with dried pus. Instead a sapphire ring and a pale, elegant hand.

‘I can take revenge.’

Yes. I finally had the power to destroy Lady Olden.

I could make her suffer the same or far worse than I once had.

But all of it felt meaningless.

Even if the past and present seemed similar, they weren’t exactly the same. This life’s Lady Olden might be a spy, but she hadn’t hurt “me” yet.

What she harmed wasn’t me. It was Elicia.

“If she’s found… do as you wish. I don’t want to be involved anymore.”

“I understand.”

He didn’t know what I was thinking, but for some reason he looked bitter as he continued.

“As for the other maids, they didn’t directly commit the crime, but they acted under Lady Olden’s command, so they can’t escape responsibility. I plan to exile all of them beyond the Northern Wall. What do you say?”

“Everything is up to you.”

Exile beyond the Northern Wall was the harshest punishment in Lombard.

No human had ever returned alive after stepping into the Black Continent where monsters reigned.

Even the strongest knights only watched from the watchtowers, trying to track monster activity near the border.

What would happen to an exiled criminal?

No one knew for sure. People could only imagine them chased by monsters until facing a horrifying end.

“Exiled beyond the Northern Wall.”

It was heavier than I expected, but I didn’t object.

I was simply too exhausted.

Maybe the Duke felt it too, because after a brief hesitation, his hand rested gently on my forehead.

“You should rest now.”

“Aren’t you coming up?”

“I’m fine.”

I froze.

The way he looked at me reminded me of the boy who once sat by my bedside all night when I burned with fever.

“I suffer from severe insomnia. Lying down all night is more torture for me, so please sleep comfortably without worrying about me.”

“You have insomnia?”

The Edwin I once knew never had that.

He only smiled vaguely.

“It just happened. I wasn’t like this before. A lot has happened.”

“…”

I didn’t answer.

Every time I realized today’s Duke was not the same Edwin I once knew, my hatred felt like a sin.

It felt like accusing a stranger of someone else’s crime.

‘Is my hatred against the Duke justified?’

My chest tightened.

But if it isn’t justified, then who answers for my pain?

What about the me who screamed in agony?

What about the me whose fingers rotted and bled?

What about the me who writhed like an insect on that filthy stone floor?

Do I just swallow it down?

Forget it alone?

Pretend it never happened?

‘No.’

I refused.

That agony burned into me like a brand.

Someone had to answer for that hell.

Even if the Duke now was not the Edwin who betrayed me, my suffering demanded a price.

If I let go, I would break.

Barely suppressing everything boiling inside, I turned my back to him and closed my eyes.

Darkness pulled me downward into deep unconsciousness.

* * *

Soft breaths filled the cramped room.

Edwin carefully sat up.

As a skilled warrior, he knew how to erase his presence, but he held his breath even more so he wouldn’t disturb Elicia’s sleep.

“…”

Moonlight cast a deep shadow across her sleeping face.

Her eyes were faintly reddened.

After hesitating many times, he very gently brushed the corner of her eye. Dampness clung to his fingertips.

His expression twisted bitterly.

“What am I supposed to do with you.”

It would be better if they didn’t get close.

Keep a proper distance. Not too far and not too near. Maintain a strictly official relationship.

That was what he believed.

Then why?

Why did one small tear on his finger shake that resolve so easily?