Side Story 10

I let out a deep sigh.

Luca was right. This was the time to rest.

In this situation, the one who must be the most shocked and confused wasn’t me but Ruediger.

With no memories at all, someone suddenly appeared claiming to be his wife. On top of that, the Ruediger of the past had been a firm bachelor. Well, he did say himself that he wasn’t a bachelor, but still. Of course he’d be confused.

Adding to that confusion with my emotional behavior would definitely be the wrong choice.

It’d be better to calm myself down and organize my thoughts first. Agreeing with Luca’s suggestion, I stood up.

“Yeah. I’m confused too right now… please, Luca.”

“Leave it to me.”

Luca nodded firmly, his eyes filled with concern as he looked at me.

Not wanting to worry him, I forced a smile as if I were fine, but only the corners of my mouth twitched uselessly.

Then I felt Ruediger’s gaze. He was staring straight at me, so much that staring was the only word for it.

Maybe he just wanted to get a good look at the face of the wife who had suddenly appeared.

If that was the case, then I should just look back at him. There was nothing for me to be self conscious about.

But I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head. I didn’t have the courage to meet his eyes.

Just imagining how those eyes, which had always looked at me so warmly, might have changed now scared me.

What if he looked at me with contempt or hostility…

‘What if he gets angry and asks how I bewitched him?’

My mind flashed through every regretful amnesiac male lead I’d ever seen across novels, dramas, and comics.

‘This is why knowing too much is bad. It just makes me anxious for no reason…’

Of course, there was no guarantee Ruediger would act like those fictional men. But there was also no certainty that he wouldn’t.

After all, personality changes caused by amnesia were a cliché. A tired, overused, and most common outcome.

The only saving grace was that even if he doubted our relationship, there was a mountain of evidence and witnesses created by his own excessive behavior.

Relief, anxiety, worry, unease. All those emotions swung back and forth nonstop. The ground beneath my feet was perfectly level, yet my churning emotions made my stomach twist as if I were carsick.

I bit my lip hard to suppress the nausea and left the room, doing my best to empty my chaotic mind, never once looking back at Ruediger, almost as if I were running away.

Behind me, I felt as though his gaze lingered for an unusually long time. It was probably just my imagination. I told myself that again and again.

* * *

I dumped all my stress into sleep, as if slamming a lid shut. I knew it wasn’t a good method, but at the time, it was the best I could do.

After waking up, I felt a bit better. My mood had lightened, and I even felt some renewed resolve.

The change of environment probably helped too. I’d woken up in the guest room.

Since Ruediger had been moved straight to the marital bedroom after collapsing, this couldn’t be helped. Still, it worked out better this way. Waking up alone in the bedroom where I’d always opened my eyes in his arms would’ve been far harder emotionally.

Once I’d gathered myself, I called for Laura. She rushed in immediately with water for washing my face, as if she’d been waiting right outside the door.

As she attended to me, Laura kept glancing at my face, clearly unsure how to comfort me. I deliberately kept my voice steady, pretending I was fine.

“Has Ruediger woken up?”

“Yes… He woke up and asked for you. I think you should go see him.”

“He asked for me?”

I startled. The towel slipped from my hand and fell to the floor.

“Did his memory come back?”

“No… it doesn’t seem like it has.”

The hope that had flared up died out instantly.

Watching my reaction, Laura quickly picked up the towel and handed it back to me.

“Maybe… you could see Young Master Luca first? He seems like he has something to say as well.”

“Really…?”

I decided to meet Luca first, as Laura suggested. I needed some information about Ruediger’s current condition.

The moment I called him, Luca came rushing in. Laura and Luca alike seemed as though they’d been waiting for me to call.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Luca looked at me skeptically. Seriously, this kid wouldn’t believe me even if I turned beans into soy paste in front of him.

Not wanting to dwell on my situation, I changed the subject right away.

“How’s Ruediger? How much does he remember?”

“Nothing after meeting us. The only good thing is that he still remembers the period when he came to find me after Jonas died. That made explaining things easier.”

Luca shrugged.

As expected, I sighed and covered my face with my palm.

“Then… how much of the current situation does he seem to accept?”

“He looks like he has a lot of questions, but he didn’t ask much. He was always quiet to begin with… but at least he seems to understand that he’s married and that you’re his wife.”

“He doesn’t seem upset… or anything like that?”

“Upset?”

Luca frowned. His mouth opened and closed a few times. He looked like he had something to say but wasn’t sure how to put it into words.

After hesitating for a while, Luca asked carefully,

“Do you want to go see Uncle for now?”

“Go see him?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“I didn’t expect you to suggest that. You don’t really like how close Ruediger and I are. I thought you’d tell me to take this chance and get a divorce.”

The last part was half a joke. A kind of bravado where I brought up the weakness myself before anyone else could.

Seeing straight through my intent, Luca smirked and joked back,

“Do you think I’m the former king? It’s only annoying because you two gang up on me and treat me like a kid. I’m your nephew. Why would I want you two to be unhappy? But yeah… if the former king finds out about this, that’d definitely be bad. He’d absolutely go crazy trying to force a divorce.”

That was true. If it were him, he absolutely would.

“I’d never allow it.”

“What if Uncle asks for a divorce?”

My mouth stiffened.

Luca had been joking. And I was the one who brought up divorce first.

But the thought of Ruediger asking me for a divorce…

A chilling shiver ran down my spine.

I shook it off and forced a smile, pretending I was fine.

“Then I’ll put on a dramatic suicide show or something.”

“You really say anything.”

Luca’s eyebrows twisted. It wasn’t a very adult thing to say, and definitely not something to say to a kid.

I always tried to treat Luca like a child, yet whenever I hit a mental dead end, I ended up leaning on him like this.

When I laughed awkwardly, Luca sighed.

“Anyway… it probably won’t come to that, but I’ll keep my mouth shut for now.”

“Yeah. Please do. You’re the only one I can rely on right now.”

“Then treat me better usually.”

“I do treat you well. How much better do you want?”

“You’re pretty confident for someone who made me look after kids with a nearly twenty year mental age gap.”

Wait, hold on. Why is that coming up now? And also…

“I didn’t make you. I asked. And I let you eat a whole Sachertorte as payment. You can’t just eat everything and then pretend nothing happened. Got it?”

“Judging by how fired up you are, you seem energetic enough.”

When I bristled, Luca grinned. Like that was exactly the reaction he’d wanted.

Come to think of it, while bickering with Luca, I’d momentarily forgotten my overwhelming anxiety.

I smiled much more easily than before and reached out to his head.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Did what?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

I roughly ruffled Luca’s hair, messing up his neatly styled curls.

Then I pulled him into a hug. The solid bones of the boy who had grown so much supported me like a straight tree trunk.

Normally, he would’ve struggled to get away, but today he stayed unusually still. I buried my head against his shoulder and muttered,

“You know I’m always grateful, right?”

“…If you’re grateful, hurry up and go back to normal. It’s less fun teasing you like this.”

“Are you teasing your aunt for fun?”

“Why would I tease you if it wasn’t fun?”

“Luca, you!”

Just as I was about to flare up again, Luca slipped out of my arms. He ran to the door, then poked his head back through the gap and shouted,

“Go see Uncle already. And stop coming up with weird ideas about divorce or suicide shows by yourself.”

Then he vanished. Left alone, I let out a hollow laugh in disbelief.

Still, Luca was right about one thing. Staying alone would only make the negative thoughts spiral.

And Ruediger had asked for me. Strike while the iron is hot. With my mind made up, I jumped to my feet.

* * *

Even if he’d lost his memory, Ruediger was still my husband. Even if it hurt to be looked at like a stranger, it wasn’t something I could avoid.

No matter how cold he might be to me, that wouldn’t be the Ruediger I knew, so I didn’t need to be hurt by it.

‘If he asks for a divorce… I’ll try to persuade him as best I can.’

With that resolve, I walked forward and soon found myself face to face with Ruediger.

Despite my determination, my shoulders instinctively hunched the moment I stood in front of him.

“So you’re saying you’re my wife?”

His tone was stiff but polite. For Ruediger, that was still fairly courteous. It was a somewhat positive sign that he wasn’t outright denying me as his wife.

But I couldn’t be purely happy about it. The sense of distance in his words felt painfully far.

“Um… yes. That’s right.”

I answered while watching his expression.

Ruediger ran his hand down his face several times. Tension? Discomfort? It was clear that having a wife suddenly appear unsettled him.

Normally, I’d just call him Ruediger. But now…

I wanted to avoid upsetting him as much as possible. So I deliberately addressed him by his military rank.

“Of course, I know very well that you’re a confirmed bachelor, Brigadier General. So I fully understand how confused you must feel…”

“What did you say?”