Chapter 54

‘I don’t want to fall asleep right now.’

If she fell asleep now, she felt like she’d have a nightmare and end up waking the children too.

She thought it would be better to stay up all night instead and stared out the corridor window.

The glass was as cold as ice that would never melt.

Reina tapped the window lightly with her bare fingers, then suddenly turned and walked upstairs.

‘Is the portrait still there?’

Damian had told her it was fine, but the torn portrait kept bothering her.

Walking quietly through the empty mansion made her feel as if she were doing something wrong.

“…Huh?”

When she reached the room, she saw the door was open.

“…N— ah.”

From inside came a voice that sounded painfully lonely.

Reina knew who it belonged to.

Through the crack in the door, she saw the back of a man, dark as if he had been swallowed by the night.

He stared at the badly torn portrait and muttered to himself.

“…I searched… but… you…”

His voice was so faint it seemed like it would vanish with the slightest breeze, and she couldn’t hear it clearly.

Reina felt like she was doing something terribly wrong, peeking into someone else’s private wound.

In truth, she was listening to his muttering, so she couldn’t deny it.

“…”

She hesitated for a moment.

Should she pretend she hadn’t seen or heard anything and quietly leave?

Or…

“I regret it.”

Should she at least say something to him, who seemed to be tormented by nightmares as cruel as hers?

Daring to feel a sense of kinship with the greatest noble in the empire.

The self mocking whisper had been clear.

After that, he remained silent for a long time.

In the end, Reina gently knocked on the door.

Only then did he slowly turn around and look at her.

“Reina Botn.”

“…Did I interrupt you?”

“No. There’s nothing to interrupt. What brings you here?”

Damian tilted his head slightly as if to let her in.

Reina bowed her head lightly and stepped into the room.

Some of the white sheets covering the furniture had been removed.

On a small table sat a bottle of liquor and two glasses.

One glass was filled, the other empty.

Reina quietly looked around the room before speaking.

“I was worried about the torn portrait, so I came to see if I could take a look.”

“It wasn’t torn because of you in the first place.”

“…Even so, it was torn while I was there.”

Moonlight streamed in through the large window, illuminating the portrait of the Duchess.

Unlike Damian, she looked like someone who would shine even in the deepest darkness.

‘It’s only a painting.’

Reina gazed at Titania’s gentle smile within the frame.

“Is it possible to restore this portrait?”

“If there’s anyone willing to lay a hand on it.”

“Isn’t it an honor to paint a noble’s portrait?”

Especially one belonging to Duke Winternight.

Knowing what Reina was truly asking, Damian replied in a dry tone.

“Titania was Finecke.”

“…”

“It seems there’s a rumor among the people of the empire that painting a Finecke brings misfortune.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to apologize for? You didn’t spread those rumors.”

Reina and Damian remained silent for a while.

Eventually, Damian spoke first.

“You managed to find the hidden passage here. No one has used it in seven or eight years.”

“Ah… I once learned about mansion architecture and layouts in class. So I thought maybe… and I guessed right.”

Reina brushed her hand lightly over the white sheets nearby.

“The window here was too large for it to be just a storage room, and the furniture looked like it had been here for a long time.”

She stared at Titania’s portrait.

Even though it was only a painting, her eyes seemed filled with warmth.

“And I didn’t think you would keep your wife’s portrait in a storage room, My Lord.”

“That’s right.”

Damian gave a small nod.

“This was her favorite room. She liked that the window was wide and open, good for watching the stars.”

“Did she like stargazing?”

“Hard to say. For someone who liked it, she couldn’t read a single constellation.”

His voice, as he looked out the window, was utterly emotionless.

“There was no hidden passage in this room originally. One day she asked me to have it built. In that sense, it’s fortunate you ended up in this room.”

“Ah. So that’s why it led to your office instead of the first floor or outside.”

“Exactly.”

Damian pulled his gaze away from the window and looked at Reina.

Bathed in dim moonlight, she looked paler than usual. Yet her faint, indistinct expression remained the same.

“May I ask you something now?”

Reina, who had been looking elsewhere, turned her head toward him.

“Ask me something?”

“You asked me questions. It’s only fair I ask one too.”

Reina rolled her eyes once, then nodded.

“Then…”

He crossed his arms and pretended to think.

The truth was, he already had something in mind.

Earlier that day, he had noticed something odd while reviewing the household ledger.

He simply hadn’t asked in front of others.

“What did you hear in the underground prison?”

“…”

“What did you hear that made your expression sour all day?”

Reina had such an indistinct appearance that one could easily forget her face if not careful.

Even so, Damian had noticed her troubled look all day.

Even now, he could see the agitation behind her faint features.

Reina kept fidgeting with her hands.

He walked to the table, poured liquor into the empty glass, and handed it to her.

“Have a drink.”

“…”

Reina accepted the glass he offered.

The hard feel of the glass was clear in her hand.

She tilted it back and forth before finally speaking.

“It just feels like I woke up from a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yes. A dream.”

She brought the glass close to her nose and inhaled.

Even without tasting it, she could tell it was strong.

“I got too comfortable here and forgot, but I was never… someone who deserved to be treated like this in a place like this.”

“…”

“Through Sofia, I was reminded of my place. And…”

“And?”

“And I became afraid that this would be passed down to my daughter.”

What could hurt more than baseless malice that you couldn’t solve?

Damian understood what she meant and stayed silent for a moment.

Then he spoke.

“Was that dream so sweet to you?”

“No.”

Reina gave a weak smile, her eyes still fixed on the glass.

“It was too happy. So happy I never wanted to wake up.”

“Then let me put it differently. Saying you woke up from a dream may not be right.”

“…What?”

“The moments when you felt happiness weren’t a dream. They were reality. And…”

Reina slowly lifted her lowered head.

Damian, as expressionless as ever, looked straight at her.

His clear sky colored eyes didn’t lose their light even in the dark.

“And the things that torment you, those are the dream.”

Reina’s eyes trembled widely at a thought she had never considered before.

“I don’t have any power.”

“It’s the world that’s wrong for trampling those without power.”

“I’m a commoner… and a woman…”

“If those two things are what make someone miserable, then the system of this country is clearly wrong.”

“…And I’m a woman with a child.”

“Reina Botn.”

Damian looked at her.

“Is your daughter, Bonita, a reason for you to be miserable?”

“…”

“Have you ever been miserable because you have a daughter?”

“No.”

If Bonita’s existence brought her misery, Reina could firmly say no.

There were moments that were hard, but hardship had never meant unhappiness.

“People want me to be miserable.”

Every curse Sofia had thrown at her had pierced straight through her heart.

But she felt that if she let her anger explode there, she would never be able to go back.

It felt like she would fall even lower than the very bottom.

Like she might accidentally show those emotions to the children.

“Still, there are a few who want you to be happy.”

“A few?”

“Yes. Estelle and Bonita. And I don’t want you to be unhappy either. If you think carefully, there must be others too.”

“Then… am I allowed to be happy?”

“Even that alone is enough for a person to become happy.”

Reina blinked once, slowly closing and opening her eyes.

A tear that had gathered finally slipped down.

“Those were Titania’s words.”

Without realizing it, Damian reached out and gently wiped away the tear resting in her golden eyes.