Chapter 91

“Ugh…”

“I’m sorry.”

Reina scratched the back of her neck with an awkward expression.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever seen who steps on the same spot every single time.”

She fixed everything else quickly, yet this one thing wouldn’t change. Madam Beanz added that it might be a habit she’d never fix for the rest of her life.

“You might honestly be the worst dancer among all the students I’ve taught.”

“…Was the Duchess good at dancing?”

Reina asked carefully.

“She never danced with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. The Duke taught the Duchess all her dancing himself. I only saw her once from afar, but she was very good.”

“I see.”

Reina had never seen Titania in person, only in dreams, but she didn’t think the Duchess would be bad at dancing.

Just then, the sound of quick little footsteps came from the hallway.

“Mom!”

“Boni?”

Bonita peeked in, holding a wooden sword.

“Weren’t you supposed to be learning swordsmanship right now?”

“Yeah, but I kept hearing music. So I told Uncle Dun, and he said alright. Then I thought, Mom must be practicing dancing, so I came.”

“Oh dear…”

Reina thought that Sir Dun must’ve had no choice but to follow her. And sure enough, Dun came in right after, wearing an awkward expression.

“I’m sorry, Reina. Boni kept insisting she wanted to see.”

“Mom, I wanna watch you dance.”

“You’ll be able to see it later too, you know?”

“I wanna see it first. There’ll be lots of people and tons of adults there.”

I’m smaller than adults, so I might not be able to see. If I’m not in the front, I won’t see anything. Bonita rambled on.

“Oh no, that is a big problem. I wanted to show it to you first too.”

“Really? Really? You’ll show me when you’re wearing the dress?”

“The dress hasn’t arrived yet.”

Bonita looked disappointed at that.

“Mom in that dress is gonna be really pretty. Prettier than anyone.”

“Yeah. And the ribbon on it was chosen by Boni, so it’ll be prettier than any other dress. Of course I’ll be pretty wearing it.”

Reina gently took the wooden sword from Bonita’s hands and set it aside.

Then she pulled over a single chair.

“Then shall this be Boni’s special front row seat?”

“You’ll show me?”

“If you’re okay with me dancing without the dress.”

Bonita nodded, then suddenly stopped.

W-Wait a second!”

“Huh?”

As if she’d just remembered something, Bonita told her to wait and ran out in a flurry.

“B-Boni, if you run like that, you’ll get hurt!”

Ignoring Reina’s worried call, Bonita ran off and came back with Estelle and Chelsea.

“I asked my lady, and she said she wants to see it too. And Chelsea said it’d be good to take a short break.”

“Hehe. Boni said she wanted to rest too.”

With the audience suddenly growing, Reina darted her eyes around.

Is this the moment I step on someone’s foot in front of everyone?

While Reina was panicking internally, Madam Beanz, who had been deep in thought, asked Dun,

“Do you know how to dance the waltz?”

It was a sudden question, but Dun nodded.

“Yes. I learned basic social dances. It’s part of general education.”

“Then could you take my place and be Botn’s partner?”

“What?”

“What?”

Reina and Dun both asked at the same time.

“Reina Botn has a rather unfortunate habit. I wondered if it might be because there isn’t much height difference between us. I don’t think that’s likely, but I believe we should consider every possibility.”

“Ah…”

Reina agreed with Madam Beanz’s reasoning.

‘Honestly, it really doesn’t seem likely.’

Still, trying once with a male partner wouldn’t be bad.

She felt awkward asking Damian, and she wasn’t close to any other men.

She didn’t feel uncomfortable asking Dun, and since they’d run into him by chance, maybe it’d work out.

Of course, that depended on whether he agreed willingly.

“I-It’s possible. Even ten times.”

There was no way kind Dun would refuse anything related to Reina.

Reina thought he really was gentle.

He must’ve been tired from teaching Bonita swordsmanship, though Reina honestly thought it was more playing than teaching. And yet he said even ten times was fine.

“One time is enough. Just once.”

“Ah…”

Dun’s ears turned red.

‘Maybe I should’ve just said thank you.’

It was basically rejecting his goodwill outright, so it must’ve been embarrassing.

With his ears still red, Dun removed the sword at his waist.

Standing at the center of the hall, he took off his gloves and held out his hand to Reina.

His hand was very warm when she took it.

Madam Beanz started the phonograph, and music slowly filled the room.

“Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I last danced.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Well, I’ve danced enough that my body should remember.”

Dun smiled gently and began to lead.

It seemed his words weren’t a lie, as he moved naturally across the hall.

The children’s cheers rang out.

Reina glanced up at Dun, noticing again how tall he was, his large hand gently enclosing hers.

Dun’s pale violet eyes were looking at her too.

‘Oh right. Partners are supposed to look at each other.’

But as Reina kept staring at his face, Dun ended up averting his gaze instead.

“Sir Dun?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Do I look angry right now? Or uncomfortable, or something like that?”

“N-No. Not at all.”

Dun denied it in a fluster, yet his body kept moving into the next step.

“Then why…”

And crunch.

Reina stepped on his foot again, in the exact same spot.

“…”

“…”

Madam Beanz stopped the phonograph. The children’s laughter stopped too.

Madam Beanz spoke in a flat voice.

“…There’s really nothing we can do about this.”

“I guess not.”

“Just stay glued to His Grace’s side.”

“And what happens then?”

“…No one would dare approach His Grace with a smile, so the chances of receiving a dance invitation will go down.”

“Well then…”

That’s advice that really sticks.

Reina added quietly.

* * *

“Reina, you were born as someone who was loved.”

It was a voice she’d heard so many times in her memories that she was sick of it.

‘A dream.’

At first, she hadn’t even realized it was a dream, but now she couldn’t not know.

In this dream, Reina always lay with her head on her mother’s thigh, receiving warm and gentle touches. At this time, Reina was about Bonita’s age.

And around this point, Reina always asked,

“What kind of person was Dad?”

“Your dad had pink hair just like you, and twin golden yellow eyes. Not gold, but a bright yellow.”

“Yellow. The kid I met last time had yellow eyes, and it felt strange.”

“Yellow isn’t strange. It’s the color of spring.”

“But Mom’s hair isn’t yellow. It’s gold.”

Reina could never choose anything in this conversation.

Because this wasn’t a dream, but Reina’s original memory, and the current Reina was only peeking into it.

“Not gold. Yellow.”

“But I like Reina’s eyes.”

Reina turned her head and looked up at her mother.

Flowing golden hair, green eyes like newly sprouted leaves.

At this point, the original Reina should’ve answered, I like you too, Mom.

“…Then why did you abandon me?”

This dream was different.

Reina could suddenly ask her mother the question she’d always thought about.

Even knowing she wouldn’t receive an answer, because it was a dream, because it was a memory of the past already gone.

“Did you really love me, Mom?”

Did you just use me because you didn’t want to be miserable, because you didn’t want to be alone?

Knowing no one could see her in this world, Reina clung to her and spoke.

“I still love you, even after you left me…”

Thick tears fell from Reina’s eyes.

She didn’t know anymore if this was her own emotion or the real Reina’s emotion. She didn’t even know who her real self was anymore.

Even knowing that she’d wake up from the dream and adapt back to daily life again.

Whenever she had this dream, she was helplessly swallowed by those feelings.

“Mom, were you happy after you left me?”

All the questions she’d wanted to ask burst out like a flood.

Not once in Reina’s dreams, when passing through her past, had things ever moved the way she wanted.

It always ended with her simply passing through fragments of the past.

After pouring out all her emotions, Reina felt confused instead.

The person she was holding slowly became nothing more than an afterimage, collapsing away.

“M-Mom?”

She clung tighter to the ‘mom’ who was crumbling uselessly.

“N-No. Don’t. Don’t do this. I’m sorry. Please don’t.”

Even knowing it was a dream, even though she wasn’t even her real mother, Reina still clung desperately.

She always thought she’d been abandoned, yet she had too much lingering attachment to hate her.

The world collapsed, and collapsed again, and then another space formed.

A dazzling space, dazzling to excess. Everyone was wearing beautiful dresses, chatting pleasantly.

“Where is this…?”

Reina’s body was translucent.

She felt like someone who didn’t exist in this space.