Chapter 1

“…You.”

A face filled with utter shock came into view through my blurry vision.

The moment I tried to respond to the small call, a cough burst out instead and red blood splattered.

I groped through the hazy air with trembling hands.

Only moments ago, the man’s heart had been pierced wide open, but now it had been restored as if nothing had happened.

He lived.

And I was going to die.

My senses were dull, but I barely managed to move my lips.

“I’m glad… you’re safe.”

Did he understand what I said?

There was no sound coming from my throat, so I couldn’t tell.

Maybe my ears had stopped working. Even so, I caught the faint widening of his eyes through the blur.

‘Ah, so you can make that kind of face too.’

The face I had seen over and over had always been cold and heartless. I had lived forgetting that this man even had expressions.

There was so much I wanted to say.

‘Since this is the end, I might as well get everything off my chest.’

I slowly parted my lips. I couldn’t hear myself anymore, so I didn’t even know if I was speaking properly.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear me, but since this is the last time, please listen.”

My father’s eyes were wide open.

‘He must be thinking I’ve grown mature enough to understand my situation. Maybe he’s even proud.’

I forced the corners of my stiff mouth to lift.

I hoped it looked like a real smile as I slowly opened my mouth.

There were so many things that made me feel wronged.

I wanted to call you Dad. I wanted to be praised at least once. I wanted to travel with you. I wanted you to come to my academy graduation.

Of course, I must have been a shameful daughter to you.

But still…

Even though I was nothing but useless baggage, you carried me all this time without throwing me away. I was grateful for that alone.

There was too much I wanted to say and not enough time left.

So I chose my words carefully and let only a few rise to the tip of my tongue.

“…Forget about me now and live your own life, Father.”

You shut yourself away in the laboratory to save your pathetic daughter who had only a short time to live. You stayed by my side every time I was sick.

Because of that, I could never bring myself to resent you.

I couldn’t see anymore.

I couldn’t hear either.

I wondered for a long time what my last words should be, then slowly opened my mouth.

“I’m sorry… for being your daughter.”

If it weren’t for me, you could have soared so much higher.

Was it raining? My cheeks felt wet.

But this was indoors, so it didn’t make sense.

All my senses dulled and my mind slowly faded to black.

“…Don’t.”

A faint voice reached me.

The last thing I saw was golden light wrapping around me.

I couldn’t see anything anymore, yet that light alone shone so brightly.

I died on my sixteenth birthday.

* * *

Blink blink.

The chill against my skin made my eyes snap open.

I saw a ceiling that was both familiar and strangely sparkling. It looked a bit cleaner than the last one I saw.

‘…What?’

I just died.

I had used up the last of my life force to save my father, whose heart had been pierced during the attack.

‘That cursed ability.’

I pulled the blanket up to my chin out of habit and sank into gloomy thoughts.

Other people could breathe fire, control water, or even fly. There were so many amazing abilities in the world, so why did mine have to be so useless.

‘Well… Father is a noble, yet he only has a trivial ability too.’

It was kind of funny that his child would have a decent ability.

‘But did I still have some life force left?’

I didn’t think I would survive.

When I used that power, I felt clearly that it was the last time.

I had thought it was the end and ended up blurting out all sorts of embarrassing things.

As the memories replayed, my face grew hot.

I rolled around on the bed then buried my face into my palms.

“…Huh?”

What was this?

Something felt strange.

I hurriedly touched my face. It felt oddly soft and squishy. And small.

Before long, I realized that even my hands were tiny. I froze.

I felt around frantically, then my eyes shot open.

“What the… what?!”

I gaped and jumped off the bed.

My body tilted to the side. Maybe I was too shocked. My legs gave out and I fell back onto the bed.

Low.

Everything was low, so low.

My height had dropped too much. Had my ability shrunk my height instead of my life force?

Thinking something ridiculous like that, I hurried to climb down from the bed.

This wasn’t a child’s bed but an adult’s, so it was quite high. I had no choice but to use the blanket like a rope.

I rushed over to a full-length mirror with a cracked edge and stood in front of it. My mouth fell open.

“Huh…?”

What was this.

My reflection was in the mirror.

Of course I knew my reflection would be there, but what I meant was…

I should have been sixteen, yet I was staring at my five-year-old self.

“This can’t be real. This is a dream, right?”

I opened my mouth and examined my reflection from every angle.

Skin that wasn’t pure white but a bit pale.

Soft hands and feet without a single scar.

Chubby cheeks that hadn’t lost their baby fat.

A height and build much smaller than other kids, so small that people would believe me if I said I was three or four.

“No way…?”

How did I live the last sixteen years.

How did I die.

I can’t live through that miserable life again.

No way.

“Waaaah!”

Overcome with frustration and sorrow, I burst into tears.

I didn’t know how long I cried.

All I know is that not long after I started, the door burst open.

…I only cried for a bit.

Come on, if someone died, gave a dramatic farewell, then woke up to find themselves back in their miserable childhood, wouldn’t they cry too.

“…”

“…”

Anyway, this was not the expression I ever wanted to see on his face.

He looked completely taken aback.

“…Father?”

He looked at me with wide eyes.

“…”

He stood there blankly, then flinched, hardened his expression, and glared at me.

“Why are you crying…”

He looked fine.

Healthy.

His expression was still cold, but he looked much younger.

‘A healthy Dad.’

I stared at my father, who was younger and healthier than I remembered, then suddenly threw myself into his arms.

Startled, he quickly pulled me close.

“You…!”

He was warm.

Really alive.

My father who wasn’t dying.

“…Father.”

No, maybe this was all a dream.

Maybe this was just the light before death, a final dream that would end any second.

Then I should enjoy this moment to the fullest.

If this was my last chance to face my lingering regrets and trauma before passing on, I had to make it count.

‘Yeah, this is fine.’

I held him for as long as I wanted and finally felt a little better.

The problem was that even after a long while, there was no sign of the afterlife coming to claim me.

‘Do I need to let go of all my attachments before I reincarnate?’

Then maybe I should say everything I need to say.

Maybe I couldn’t ascend because I never said it while alive.

“Dad…”

My father’s shoulders flinched as he held me.

“I just always wanted to call you like this.”

“…”

What else did I want to say.

“You know, live your life, not mine.”

“…!”

Ugh, my tongue.

My pronunciation slipped at the end.

“I’m really fine now…”

So live your life, not mine.

I grabbed his clothes tightly. There was something I really wanted to tell the healthy version of him.

“I’m sorry for being born.”

I had always known. You never left that underground lab for my sake.

If it weren’t for me, you would have had a better life.

With your brilliant mind, you would have researched better medicines. You would have earned the recognition of the family.

You wouldn’t have needed to live estranged from them.

“Forget about me now and live happily…”

Don’t waste your time trying to fix someone like me.

After saying everything, I slowly closed my eyes. I thought this would be when my life flashed before my eyes and the afterlife would come.

But nothing came.

…This isn’t right.