Chapter 14

* * *

A lovely little house filled with sunlight.

“Mom!”

A girl with pink hair and yellow eyes came running out, her arms full of flowers she’d picked for her mother.

The child had no father, and instead of cursing the man who’d left, people pointed their fingers at the woman raising the child.

“Did you hear? That woman had a child before she even got married.”

“She looks gentle, but she’s really shameless.”

No matter how people whispered, she didn’t hide.

The child was clearly born of love. The man who was supposed to be the child’s father had promised he’d return, so she held her head high.

She absentmindedly touched the pendant of the necklace hanging around her neck, and the matching one around her child’s.

It was a token given to her by Finecke.

The child brought back nameless wildflowers and placed them in a chipped mug with a missing tooth.

The mother gently patted the child’s head, and the child loved that silent promise more than anything.

She had originally worked as a teacher. It was a very small village, so the pay wasn’t much, but the children followed her, and whenever they needed comfort, she shared it without hesitation.

But the moment an unmarried woman gave birth without a husband, she became a lewd woman. She could no longer teach, and she was driven out of the village.

She wandered from town to town while pregnant, gave birth, and finally settled down, but the label of a woman with a child and no husband never left her.

Even so, she tried her hardest to love the child.

She tried, and tried, and tried again, pouring all her strength into loving her.

The year the child turned fourteen.

Around sunset, the child returned again with an armful of wildflowers. As the small vermilion house filled with the glow of dusk, the child always prepared dinner with her mother during that time, and she loved those moments most.

“Mom, I’m back!”

The child entered the house smiling brightly, saying she’d found lots of pretty flowers today. But what greeted her was her mother holding a large travel bag.

“…Mom?”

“…”

The woman called Mom looked down at the child, smaller and thinner than herself.

“Reina, I tried to love you.”

“…”

“But I just couldn’t.”

Still, I raised you for fourteen years. At least you grew up properly.

In two more years, you’ll be an adult.

The child stared at her mother as she kept speaking, unable to understand the meaning of those words. Just last night, they’d gone to bed smiling together.

When the woman turned to leave, the child snapped out of it and grabbed her.

“M-Mom! I’m sorry! Mom, don’t go! I’ll do better! I will! I’ll eat more! Am I costing money? I’ll work too! I’ll find a job starting tomorrow! Please!”

“…”

She couldn’t bring herself to grab her hand. She was afraid the moment she did, it’d be shaken off.

So the only thing Reina could do was cling to the hem of her mother’s clothes.

Even then, she couldn’t grip tightly, afraid the fragile fabric might tear.

“Mom, what should I do? Huh? I’ll do anything you want… If you’re just angry, tell me why. Please?”

Her eyes burned, tears wavering. But the woman’s voice, her actions, were firm.

“I just can’t love you.”

“…”

Her roughened hands, worn from daily labor, pulled away the desperate child’s grip.

“You don’t resemble me at all. You look like that man.”

“…M-Mom.”

“Your hair, your eyes, your face, all of it. The older you get, the more you resemble him. How could I love you?”

Those words were the last thing she said to the child.

Not that she loved her. Not that she was sorry. But that she couldn’t love her because she resembled her father.

The child stood there for a long time. Only when the sun had fully set and even her mother’s shadow was gone did she return to the small house.

An empty home. Flowers scattered messily, a chipped mug holding nothing. And only a single necklace left on the table. That was when the tears burst out.

So this is it. I’m really alone now.

In this vast world, there’s still so much I don’t know, and yet I’m alone.

Overwhelmed by crushing fear and violent loneliness, the child cried.

That day, the child learned how to cry without making a sound.

Reina Botn was that kind of child, and she grew into that kind of adult.

The only traces of her mother left to her were the necklace around her neck and the life named Bonita.

* * *

One day, Eugene entered Reina’s body.

And every day, she was tormented by Reina’s memories, stained by her past. The memories were usually unclear, yet they would suddenly surface and torment her.

Eugene’s memories were vague. Reina’s memories were vivid.

Because of that, Reina sometimes wondered if Eugene was nothing more than an illusion.

But there were moments when she was certain she wasn’t the original Reina.

One example was blueberries.

The current Reina didn’t know she was allergic to blueberries. She had no memory of it.

Only Reina would’ve known.

Because this body belonged to Reina.

“…”

She was conscious, but her eyes wouldn’t open properly.

“…”

It was a long nightmare.

Gathering her dizzy thoughts, she barely lifted her heavy eyelids and saw a blurry shape.

Where am I? She couldn’t even judge something that simple.

The most painful memories of her childhood came flooding back. Just before collapsing, Reina couldn’t remember where she was, who she’d been with, or what she’d been talking about.

She only hoped that the place she was lying in was that small house from her childhood, and that being abandoned by her mother had all been a dream.

She felt someone watching her. Reina hoped it was her mother.

“U-Uh…”

“…”

“I did something wrong…”

If only I’d been born looking even a little like Mom. If only I’d been born with pretty blond hair like hers instead of pink, with dark forest green eyes like hers instead of bright yellow.

Her mother hadn’t been able to love Reina from the moment she was born. But from the moment Reina first opened her eyes, she’d loved her mother.

Even now, she couldn’t hate the woman who’d spoken such cruel words and left. Instead, she was left with lingering thoughts that if she’d become a fake and resembled her mother, maybe she wouldn’t have been abandoned.

She had to find something she’d done wrong. If she didn’t, the misery felt like it would drive her insane.

She’d only been born.

That was all.

A large hand hesitated, then gently patted her. The touch was a bit clumsy, yet for some reason, it felt comforting.

“…You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“…”

The voice was low and cold, nothing like the mother Reina remembered. Even so, the words telling her she wasn’t at fault were so gentle they nearly made her cry.

No adult she’d ever met had told her she wasn’t wrong.

“…Y-Your Grace?”

Her throat was tight, and she couldn’t even say it properly, but the duke recognized that she was calling him.

“Yes.”

“…What…”

She’d definitely been alone with the duke in his office. He’d noticed she hadn’t eaten properly and had light tea food brought out…

“And then…”

Suddenly, pain surged through her entire body. She remembered the duke calling out urgently to someone. After that, everything went blank.

“There are people whose bodies don’t tolerate certain foods.”

“…”

“They said it was because you ate blueberries. Did I truly not know until now?”

She heard the duke speaking softly, almost scolding himself. Slowly, Reina pushed herself upright.

“…I hadn’t had the chance to eat them, so I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

Thinking back, Eugene hadn’t eaten blueberries since becoming Reina. They weren’t something you casually found like wild raspberries, and she’d never thought to eat foods containing them.

But the duke seemed to interpret her words differently, his face paling.

“…I’m not asking for an apology… no, forget it…”

“…?”

Reina looked a bit dazed after everything she’d gone through.

‘That chair must be too small for him…’

Her gaze shifted to the chair he was sitting on. The small, round chair barely supporting his large frame looked pitiful, and she wondered if he was uncomfortable.

After a long silence, the duke finally spoke.

“…I thought someone was trying to kill you.”

“Me?”

If someone wanted to kill anyone, wouldn’t it usually be the duke? It was a grim but logical thought, and Reina looked confused.

“Yes.”

He understood her confusion. There was no reason her life should be in danger like this. That was why he continued explaining.

“…We still haven’t found the true mastermind behind Estelle’s kidnapping.”

If they knew who it was, they could simply keep that person in check.

But they hadn’t found even a lead. Considering how much money and manpower the ducal house had poured into it, it was strange they’d found nothing at all.

“And everyone in this estate knows you didn’t obey their orders, no, their threats. Soon, the entire empire will know. That makes you a benefactor of this ducal house.”

“Does it… really go that far?”

“It does. You saved the sole heir of the House of Winternight.”

In truth, it meant even more than that, but the duke chose not to add that explanation.

“You’re the first benefactor of this house.”